Finding Positivity: Niko Moon’s Musical Journey from Electrician to #1 Country Artist
Send us a text Meeting Niko Moon at a wedding was more than just a brush with a talented artist; it was the beginning of a journey into the heart of music's power to transform mental health. In our latest episode, join us as Niko opens up about his upbringing in a musically inclined family and the struggles that shaped his outlook on life. He talks candidly about his quest for positivity and optimism, driven by both personal experiences and a deep-seated passion for music. From his early work...
Meeting Niko Moon at a wedding was more than just a brush with a talented artist; it was the beginning of a journey into the heart of music's power to transform mental health. In our latest episode, join us as Niko opens up about his upbringing in a musically inclined family and the struggles that shaped his outlook on life. He talks candidly about his quest for positivity and optimism, driven by both personal experiences and a deep-seated passion for music. From his early work as an electrician and steam cleaner to realizing his dream as a musician, Niko's story is one of resilience, love, and the undeniable energy that fuels his creative path.
Personal growth often arises from looking back and learning from our past relationships, and this episode explores exactly that. Niko shares insights into how reflecting on past mistakes paved the way for a beautiful connection with Anna, which inspired his hit song "Better Days." We discuss the Happy Cowboy Foundation's mission to spread hope and how music plays a crucial role in encouraging listeners during tough times. Drawing inspiration from icons like Bob Marley and Jimmy Buffett, Niko emphasizes that true happiness is rooted not in material possessions but in meaningful relationships and genuine connections.
The conversation also highlights the significant role of therapy in overcoming emotional baggage and the commendable efforts of the Happy Cowboy Foundation to make mental health services more accessible. We discuss the critical shortage of therapists and how lifestyle changes, supported by expert insights, contribute to improved well-being. Moreover, Niko shares his experiences with record deals, revealing the complexities of the music industry and his decision to remain an independent artist, thereby maintaining creative control and authenticity. This episode offers a rich tapestry of stories, insights, and the enduring value of love and connection.
00:00:01.782 --> 00:00:03.505 Welcome to the Successful Life Podcast.
00:00:03.505 --> 00:00:08.593 I'm your host, corey Barrier, and I'm here with my favorite artist, nico Moon.
00:00:08.593 --> 00:00:09.154 What's up, brother?
00:00:09.154 --> 00:00:19.166 Hey brother, how you doing, man?
00:00:19.166 --> 00:00:19.926 It's so great to be here.
00:00:19.926 --> 00:00:27.713 I mentioned this before the show, but the first time I saw you was at Joel and Kat's wedding at the Biltmore Estate about.
00:00:27.713 --> 00:00:34.618 I mean, it was almost two years ago now, just about a year and a half ago, and I had no idea who you were.
00:00:34.618 --> 00:00:44.094 I had absolutely no idea, and from that day I you know I've probably listened to your music every single day since that day.
00:00:47.060 --> 00:00:50.310 To me, that's the beautiful power of music right there.
00:00:50.310 --> 00:00:56.810 You know how it's able to bring people together, connect them, that maybe never would have if it wasn't for the music.
00:00:56.810 --> 00:01:02.066 So I'm so grateful for all the amazing connections music's given me, and definitely grateful for yours.
00:01:02.700 --> 00:01:12.248 Yeah, music's given me and definitely grateful for yours, yeah, well, and I think to you know, being in your presence is different than than a lot of people.
00:01:12.248 --> 00:01:16.954 Like your, your smile is, it's just ridiculous.
00:01:16.954 --> 00:01:18.843 And like you, just you, you can feel.
00:01:18.843 --> 00:01:19.825 You know you can.
00:01:19.825 --> 00:01:22.471 You know you can feel somebody's energy.
00:01:22.471 --> 00:01:25.439 You know I'm a, I'm an energy person and, like you, know when somebody's vibes are off, you know when you can feel somebody's energy.
00:01:25.439 --> 00:01:31.540 You know I'm a, I'm an energy person and, like you, know when somebody's vibes are off and you know when they're not off and those are always on.
00:01:31.540 --> 00:01:32.281 It seems like.
00:01:32.423 --> 00:01:33.364 Oh man, thank you.
00:01:33.364 --> 00:01:35.528 Oh man, thank you.
00:01:35.528 --> 00:01:39.143 I wish I wish I felt that way about my vibes myself.
00:01:39.143 --> 00:01:39.805 You know cause.
00:01:39.805 --> 00:01:48.272 You know, I think people do sometimes think that I'm perpetually happy at all times, you know, and that I'm living in this state of perpetual euphoria.
00:01:48.272 --> 00:02:06.962 But you know, I'm just a regular dude and I think the reason why I am so passionate about positive music and optimism is because of my own life and my own need for it and my own gratitude for the positive influences, positive people in my life that, you know, keep me on the right path when I'm needing it.
00:02:08.445 --> 00:02:08.686 Yeah.
00:02:08.686 --> 00:02:12.854 So tell me, Nico, take me back to a time when maybe that wasn't the case.
00:02:14.621 --> 00:02:17.948 Yeah, so you know, I think, my passion for positive music.
00:02:19.412 --> 00:02:21.362 I was raised by musical parents.
00:02:21.362 --> 00:02:29.230 Both of my parents are musicians, so I always was having music playing in the house and so I've always had this really deep connection with music because of that.
00:02:29.230 --> 00:02:34.118 And I think I've known ever since I was little that I wanted to be a part of music.
00:02:34.118 --> 00:02:35.181 I wasn't really sure how.
00:02:35.181 --> 00:02:42.461 I didn't know as to be an artist, but as a musician, as a producer, as a music video director, I didn't know.
00:02:42.461 --> 00:02:52.850 I just wanted to be a part of music any way I could, because when I was around it I just felt love and I felt the magical quality that music brings.
00:02:52.850 --> 00:02:57.855 You know, it's to me one of the few things that bring us close to magic.
00:02:57.855 --> 00:03:04.570 You might say I still don't really understand how music works on an emotional level, you know, but I'm really grateful it does.
00:03:05.171 --> 00:03:10.471 And you know, growing up as a kid, both of my parents were just regular, you know, working class people.
00:03:10.471 --> 00:03:31.401 My dad was a truck driver pretty much my whole life, and then he would play gigs at night playing drums and different like bands His main band that he was in I love the name of this band, but they were called the whole damn band, and my mom was a waitress for a while and she was also worked at like a temporary staffing agency as well, and you know, just salt of the earth people.
00:03:31.401 --> 00:03:38.947 And you know we didn't have a lot of materialistic things growing up, you know, but we had a lot of love in the house.
00:03:38.947 --> 00:03:55.092 But, having said that, you know there were definitely times where I watched my parents struggle, make those payments, keep the lights on and just watching them as young people.
00:03:55.092 --> 00:04:04.709 My mom had me when she was 19 years old, and so they're really young, trying to figure out how to survive, and I think a lot of people out there can relate to that.
00:04:04.709 --> 00:04:07.752 You're trying to figure out how to survive, and I think a lot of people out there can relate to that.
00:04:07.752 --> 00:04:18.387 Right, you know, you're trying to figure out how to survive in life and that can be really stressful in and of itself, and I think a lot of people think mental health might only be relegated to people that have gone through extremely traumatic events, you know.
00:04:18.468 --> 00:04:28.127 But you know the daily grind of life can wear on you over time and I think I kind of watched that with my parents and was really aware of it growing up as a kid.
00:04:28.127 --> 00:04:32.988 You know when, when you're showing up to school and all your you know a lot of clothes or thrift store clothes and stuff.
00:04:32.988 --> 00:04:33.250 You know.
00:04:33.250 --> 00:04:45.634 You know sometimes you get made fun of and you all of a sudden you get aware of the fact that you don't have the things that maybe some of the other people have and that kind of realization for me was a little bit shocking.
00:04:45.634 --> 00:04:49.350 You know, when you're a kid because you just kind of think you're all the same right.
00:04:49.350 --> 00:04:53.226 But overall I had a really great childhood, you know.
00:04:53.226 --> 00:05:02.555 But I think I was also very aware as a kid that I think through my parents, that people go through things and that they're struggling.
00:05:02.555 --> 00:05:07.850 And I watched my parents struggle themselves and I think that was kind of my first example of mental health.
00:05:08.391 --> 00:05:16.942 And then, as I grew up and started chasing down my path of music, I was doing it at nights and always kind of working odd-in jobs.
00:05:16.942 --> 00:05:33.701 I was a steam cleaner for a while and I worked at UPS on the graveyard shift from 3 am to 9 am and my main thing that I did was I was a construction worker, I was an electrician no kidding, and kind of found myself in a similar place that my parents were in when I was growing up.
00:05:33.701 --> 00:05:49.673 In that, you know, just trying to make it to Friday, make it to that paycheck to keep the lights on, keep the food in the fridge, you know, and I hadn't really connected that that's what I wanted to make my music about was to make music that encouraged people.
00:05:49.673 --> 00:05:53.029 I was, you know, I was still kind of trying to find myself musically at that time, but I was.
00:05:53.029 --> 00:05:54.437 You know, I was doing construction work.
00:05:54.437 --> 00:05:56.341 I was gigging at night, just like my dad did.
00:05:56.341 --> 00:06:06.596 I was playing these dive bars and honky tonks all across Georgia for, you know, a hundred bucks a night and free beer, and you know I loved it so much.
00:06:06.596 --> 00:06:07.302 I love music.
00:06:07.341 --> 00:06:10.814 But I was also, financially, you know, having a hard time.
00:06:10.814 --> 00:06:15.613 I ended up falling in love with a girl that was my high school sweetheart, you might say.
00:06:15.613 --> 00:06:21.396 We started dating my senior year and we had like a seven year relationship.
00:06:21.396 --> 00:06:27.168 It was a really long-term relationship and we even got engaged and it ended up not working out.
00:06:27.168 --> 00:06:37.201 I ended up, you know, finding out that she was having a relationship with one of my closest friends who was going to be the best man in my wedding, and that was.
00:06:37.261 --> 00:06:38.785 That was a difficult experience for me.
00:06:38.785 --> 00:06:39.105 I had.
00:06:39.105 --> 00:06:50.894 She was my first love, for sure, and the heartbreak of ofbreak, of losing that relationship, along with my relationship with my best friend, was a tough pill for me to swallow.
00:06:50.894 --> 00:06:59.033 And because, you know, I lost my romantic partner and I also lost my best friend at the same time through that experience.
00:06:59.033 --> 00:07:18.435 And so at that time of life, you know, I was doing construction work, I was gigging at night and I was having a hard time processing all of that, you know, and looking back on it, I just didn't have the tools to mentally navigate myself through that difficult situation.
00:07:18.435 --> 00:07:24.829 So I found myself, you know, leaning on the things that I think a lot of us lean on when we go through difficult times.
00:07:24.829 --> 00:07:32.786 You know, and I think we all have our own drug of choice, you might say, and for me my drug of choice was a lot of different things.
00:07:32.786 --> 00:07:37.322 I found myself jumping from relationship to relationship.
00:07:37.403 --> 00:08:25.942 Sometimes it was just, you know, a different person every week, right, that you're hanging out with so let me draw a line really quick with what you said Like I mean completely didn't see that coming, and so one of the things that your music has helped me with is the song Better Days, and so about a year ago my 10-year relationship ended and that song got me through that time.
00:08:25.942 --> 00:08:44.474 And just recently, since I saw you last week, my last relationship just ended, and so I use that tool, that song, because it got me through the first one and it's going to get me through this one.
00:08:44.474 --> 00:08:47.264 The other thing that I use is books.
00:08:47.264 --> 00:08:55.504 You know, the power of now by eckhart tolle is you know, if you could stay present in the moment.
00:08:55.504 --> 00:09:18.225 We don't have anything outside of presence, we tomorrow's not here, yesterday's gone, and I think a lot of times I get caught up in forgetting that, thinking about what I need to do next or what I need to do and I missed the moment, and so thank you for that.
00:09:18.985 --> 00:09:27.341 Man, I'm sorry that you're going through that time now, right now, and I'm here for you and not just in through the music.
00:09:27.480 --> 00:09:36.594 You know, yeah, losing a really close relationship is a very difficult thing and I think we can relate in this, right, and that I don't know about you.
00:09:36.835 --> 00:10:12.196 But when I was going through that situation, I felt really lonely, you know, and the interesting thing about going through something that difficult is when you talk to someone else who's also gone through it, you don't feel lonely anymore because you feel this connection that someone else knows what this feels like, and I think it's something that most everybody knows what it feels like, right, we have this in common as human beings the feeling of loneliness and loss, and it used to be something for me that was terrifying.
00:10:12.517 --> 00:10:39.380 You know, it was scary to feel that feeling because it's uncomfortable, you know, and it took me a long time to embrace the thought and the fact that life is uncomfortable at times and that, you know, everyone feels lonely from time to time and that it's not an emotion to run from that.
00:10:39.380 --> 00:10:58.214 It's another emotion on the kaleidoscope wheel of emotions that we have as human beings, right there, with love and connection, you know, there's happiness and there's sadness, right, and they're both there for us as part of our human experience and so and part of the journey right in part of the journey.
00:10:59.481 --> 00:11:00.003 This is.
00:11:00.003 --> 00:11:03.548 You know there's a lot of, I feel you know a ton of pain.
00:11:03.548 --> 00:11:21.971 You pain just even in this moment, bringing that up, but what I do know is this and I'd be willing to bet you've probably had the same experience I know what I'm going through right now is 100% going to make me better for the next relationship.
00:11:21.971 --> 00:11:24.255 Make me a better man, make me a better, whatever.
00:11:25.080 --> 00:11:27.886 As long as I learn from this.
00:11:28.048 --> 00:11:29.311 I mean, growth is painful.
00:11:29.311 --> 00:11:30.761 Yes, Right, Never.
00:11:30.761 --> 00:11:31.746 Growth's never easy.
00:11:33.160 --> 00:11:45.788 It's always hard, right, yeah, it's always hard, and the biggest growth that I've seen in my life have come through those painful experiences in my life, or uncomfortable experiences, right.
00:11:45.788 --> 00:11:58.091 And so it's interesting how, when I look back on that relationship that I had and that whole experience, you know, I think about all of the things that I learned from it.
00:11:58.091 --> 00:12:16.071 At first I was very angry and only had it was like I was just seeing red and all I could think about was all the ways that I was wronged, all the ways that injustice was done upon me and it took me, yes, all you thought about was self.
00:12:16.360 --> 00:12:20.567 I just thought about myself and was pitying myself and viewing myself as a victim.
00:12:20.567 --> 00:12:39.335 Yeah, and it took me a really long time and it took amazing people coming into my life to encourage me and honestly just dropped some knowledge on me and helped me learn that there's so much more, that there's so much to be gained from this situation than just being in pain.
00:12:39.335 --> 00:12:49.624 If I allow myself to learn and grow from it and when I allowed myself to do that I did I learned so much about myself.
00:12:49.624 --> 00:12:52.951 I saw a lot of ways in which I could have been.
00:12:52.951 --> 00:13:09.566 You know, how I could have communicated better in my relationship and also how I could learn from that situation so that in the future I had a better perspective on what the right person does look like for me.
00:13:10.307 --> 00:13:18.653 I was under the impression that was the right person, right, and so I was wrong, and instead of I think I was really bitter about that for a long time.
00:13:18.653 --> 00:13:29.813 And then, when I let that go and was able to look at it and say, okay, what were the personality characteristics and what were the things, the warning signs that I could have seen, you know, and what can I take from this?
00:13:29.813 --> 00:13:49.755 And so that not only I'm more clear in what I'm looking for that's going to make the right fit for me, but also how can I also elevate myself and grow as a human being to be a better person in my next relationship?
00:13:49.755 --> 00:13:56.067 Because, even though and I know some people might be listening to that and being like, but you got cheated on, man, how is any of it your fault?
00:13:56.067 --> 00:14:06.566 You know, it's never 100% one person or another, you know, and I think when I was first looking at it, I was like, well, you did that and so I'm right and you're wrong.
00:14:06.625 --> 00:14:17.942 Right, but there was a lot of things that led to us getting to that place where she was felt like that was the right decision for her to make, you know.
00:14:17.942 --> 00:14:33.474 And so when I started taking more responsibility for myself and realizing that, man, I have a lot of work to do on myself and I mean, quite honestly, I don't think, yeah, I wasn't ready to get married at that time.
00:14:33.474 --> 00:14:41.985 I still need a lot of growing to do and also I have the most amazing relationship now with my wife and I would have never met her.
00:14:41.985 --> 00:14:49.740 This whole beautiful life and family that I now have would have never existed if it wasn't for that situation.
00:14:49.740 --> 00:14:57.365 So, in a really weird way, I'm really glad she did that and I'm really glad that happened 100% Because life happens for you.
00:14:58.000 --> 00:15:01.826 So Anna's your wife and you and her.
00:15:01.826 --> 00:15:04.312 By the way, I love the Christmas song.
00:15:04.312 --> 00:15:13.095 I don't have any songs y'all done together but just like, and I know she's home with a baby, probably doesn't have a, I mean, I'm sure she could travel, I guess, if she wanted to.
00:15:13.095 --> 00:15:16.109 But yeah, you guys are great together.
00:15:16.109 --> 00:15:18.027 So let me ask you something about Anna.
00:15:18.027 --> 00:15:26.667 So if I and correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe this is the case so Anna helped you write Better Days.
00:15:28.250 --> 00:15:31.801 Yes, yeah, we wrote Better Days together, all right, so tell me.
00:15:32.142 --> 00:15:38.528 I just need to know like what, because the song has had such an impact and I'm just going to go ahead and drop that.
00:15:38.528 --> 00:15:44.663 You know, part of the reason that I wanted you to come on is because the Happy Cowboy Foundation and I want to get into that.
00:15:44.663 --> 00:15:50.448 So I do encourage people to go check that out, because it's a really, really great foundation.
00:15:50.448 --> 00:15:51.769 You put a lot of work into it.
00:15:51.769 --> 00:15:58.297 But I want to know about how that song came about.
00:15:58.297 --> 00:16:05.308 What were you thinking about, or what was she thinking about?
00:16:05.308 --> 00:16:06.592 Because there had to be something right.
00:16:11.899 --> 00:16:13.264 There had to be something that we were able to create that from.
00:16:13.264 --> 00:16:16.841 Yeah, you know, I think it partially came from both of our personal experiences in life of difficulty, right, and I don't want to speak on hers.
00:16:17.222 --> 00:16:17.423 Sure.
00:16:17.442 --> 00:16:19.908 That's her own personal story to tell, right, Of course.
00:16:19.908 --> 00:16:25.006 But you know, like that one experience, you know, that we're talking about right now.
00:16:25.006 --> 00:16:38.120 You know that's one of many difficult experiences that I've gone through in life, and many people have far more intense and more difficult experiences than I've had in my life, you know.
00:16:38.120 --> 00:16:39.823 That's the interesting thing about life, right is?
00:16:39.823 --> 00:16:42.408 You know we've talked about before.
00:16:42.408 --> 00:16:44.754 We're all on our own ride in this life, you know.
00:16:44.754 --> 00:17:06.842 You know we've talked about before.
00:17:06.842 --> 00:17:07.826 We're all on our own ride in this life, you know.
00:17:07.826 --> 00:17:10.534 But the absolute guarantee is that we all are going thing that you can connect on it in a lot of different ways and, uh, you, it can.
00:17:10.534 --> 00:17:14.247 Music can encourage you to do a lot of things, you know, depending on what the message is.
00:17:14.247 --> 00:17:32.292 And so I'm really passionate about connecting with everyone through music on the message of encouragement, of optimism and remembering that nothing lasts forever and that better days are ahead always.
00:17:32.292 --> 00:17:35.101 And it's kind of like what we're talking about right now.
00:17:35.201 --> 00:17:45.868 In these moments, Sometimes our brain can deceive us into this narrative that we're going to feel like this forever, but we never do.
00:17:45.868 --> 00:17:54.867 And when we remember previous difficult times and how hard they were and how they felt like they would never end, but they did.
00:17:54.867 --> 00:18:11.942 They did and we get better, right and wanting to, we both felt so passionately that we needed to write a song, not only that we could donate to the Happy Cowboy Foundation so that it could help raise money, but also encourage people out there if they were in a moment.
00:18:11.942 --> 00:18:21.372 And I'll tell you, man, a big reason why I'm so passionate about this is because of my own difficulty, my own need to remember this myself when I go through difficult moments.
00:18:21.372 --> 00:18:47.903 When I go through difficult moments because I still do have moments where I'm going through something and I accidentally start believing that narrative that I'm not going to be able to get out of this emotional place, this mental place that I'm in, that's feeling like it's going to last forever, and I really lean on positive music to remind me that that's not true.
00:18:47.903 --> 00:19:03.351 That's a lie that I'm telling myself and I love you talking about being up in the future of that worry.
00:19:03.351 --> 00:19:04.270 Is this going to go forever?
00:19:04.270 --> 00:19:25.941 And if I can get myself into the moment and into that state of gratitude of looking around, of all the beautiful things that I do have in my life, you know, those sorts of things help to remind me that this feeling isn't going to last forever, and I really wanted to have a song that really celebrated that fact, you know.
00:19:25.941 --> 00:19:30.935 So I'm so glad that you connect with the message of better days, man.
00:19:30.935 --> 00:19:35.828 That just really warms my heart up, and this is why I do music, man.
00:19:35.828 --> 00:19:37.392 This is why I'm so passionate about it.
00:19:37.392 --> 00:19:45.520 It's not about being up on some stage and getting any sort of adoration or anything personally from it, you know.
00:19:45.520 --> 00:19:52.887 That's why I created the symbol with the hat and the smiley face and everything, because I don't want people looking at my mug when they think of the music.
00:19:52.887 --> 00:19:54.071 I want them to look.
00:19:54.480 --> 00:20:31.952 I created the symbol so that the symbol, to me, represents the message of the music, the mentality of the music, and it's just the message of optimism, of positivity, you know, in the same way that Bob Marley and Jimmy Buffett have, you know, really encouraged me in life, you know, and helped me to remember that every little thing was going to be all right when I was having a hard time remembering it myself, Just wanting to be another artist that picks up that torch, you know, and it takes way more than just one person, it takes a lot of people to do that and a lot of different arenas.
00:20:31.952 --> 00:20:51.744 And you know, for me, I'm just a musician, you know, and so I'm so grateful to lock arms with other musicians, like Michael Franti, you know, who is someone that I love so much and is another guy out there putting that message out there, and so just to be another voice in the sea of positivity, like you're doing, you know, through this medium of podcasts.
00:20:51.744 --> 00:21:26.230 It's just as powerful, it's encouraging people, right, and I think, at the end of the day, I feel like my purpose is and I don't know if it's a purpose that's been given or that I've made myself, but I do feel very strongly that I'm here to encourage others and what I've really noticed is that through that encouragement I have received an immense amount of encouragement back into my life, For instance, through this music this community has formed.
00:21:26.230 --> 00:21:39.010 I like to think of us almost like a musical family of tens, if not hundreds, of thousands of people all across this country and really across the world who resonate with the music.
00:21:39.010 --> 00:21:51.807 And now I have this beyond my wife and my daughter and my immediate family, this huge musical family now that I'm a part of, and it's unbelievable, it's beyond my wildest imagination.
00:21:52.339 --> 00:21:53.102 I mean back then.
00:21:53.102 --> 00:22:10.454 You know, when I was, for instance, in that difficult time of life, I was, you know, just playing these little dive bars and when I would play, I was playing like eight or nine cover songs and then one original and just hoping that people wouldn't start booing me because they came to, you know, hear something, they could sing to, sing something.
00:22:10.454 --> 00:22:13.287 They know, you know, and you know now.
00:22:13.287 --> 00:22:20.332 I mean I was, I was 20, maybe 23, 24 years old back then.
00:22:20.332 --> 00:22:21.173 I'm 42 now.
00:22:21.259 --> 00:22:28.423 So, you know, almost 20 years later, I'm in this new reality that I never, ever, could have imagined for myself.
00:22:28.423 --> 00:22:42.784 That's far beyond, honestly, my wildest dreams, and it's when I think of the beauty of life now it has something to do with like, I don't know, like a house or a car or anything like that.
00:22:42.784 --> 00:22:55.973 When I'm thinking about it, it's all the love that I got in my life and for me that is the cleanest, cleanest burning fuel when it comes to happiness for me, because, I don't know, materialistic things are so fleeting.
00:22:55.973 --> 00:23:09.464 I remember when I wrote my first number one song for another artist or I'll say with another artist, because me and Zach wrote the song together with another guy named Y Durrett, but it's a song called Keep Me In Mind for the Zach Brown.
00:23:09.505 --> 00:23:10.828 Band and I remember when I got my first check.
00:23:10.828 --> 00:23:13.582 It was the first real money I had ever gotten in my whole life.
00:23:13.582 --> 00:23:16.900 You know the royalty check from it, you know.
00:23:16.900 --> 00:23:39.640 And I went and got, I got some nice clothes and, you know, I got a watch and I got these things that I had been pining for, that I felt like represented making it and could signify to everyone around me and to the world that I was valuable, that I was important, that you were enough.
00:23:39.640 --> 00:23:59.229 I had meaning I was enough, yes, and oh man, I was so excited when I got all that stuff, you know, and it was amazing to me how quickly the value of it it just became regular things, you know, and it was just, you know, just the watch on, you just put the jacket on.
00:23:59.289 --> 00:24:15.273 You know it's just another thing now, but that my relationships, the people that are really high value people in my life, those relationships are absolutely priceless and they never stop holding their value to me.
00:24:15.273 --> 00:24:16.340 You know what I mean.
00:24:16.340 --> 00:24:21.292 I never get used to it or it just becomes just another thing to me.
00:24:21.292 --> 00:24:24.147 You know what I mean, and so I think that becomes more and more true.
00:24:24.147 --> 00:24:32.125 Every year that goes by, I lean more and more into that and the kind of just, the things of life become less and less important.
00:24:32.125 --> 00:24:43.084 I think that's why I sing so much about really elemental stuff like fire and water, you know, like getting by the lake, getting by the ocean or getting by a fire pit.
00:24:43.084 --> 00:24:53.522 These are just, you know, they're just very basic, elemental things that cost absolutely nothing.
00:24:53.542 --> 00:25:06.980 But for me, I have found some of my best memories take place in these environments that are very simple but that involve people that I care a lot about and that care about me and has given me more enjoyment in life than anything else.
00:25:06.980 --> 00:25:11.410 And I'm so grateful for these realizations.
00:25:11.410 --> 00:25:14.042 And they're not ones that I've come to on my own.
00:25:14.042 --> 00:25:21.508 These are ones that I've come through from getting therapy and through having positive people in my life, you know, like my wife, for instance.
00:25:21.508 --> 00:25:37.125 You know, after that heartbreak relationship, I went through a couple of other really serious relationships that lasted for a few years and at times I went through my second love relationship like real relationship was.
00:25:37.125 --> 00:25:40.574 I think it was about a three and a half year relationship.
00:25:40.574 --> 00:25:56.906 And then the third really serious relationship of my life was about a two and a half year relationship, and both of those heartbreaks were very difficult as well, and I think after that third one I went a little numb.
00:25:56.987 --> 00:26:06.208 Do you think that those you know because you and I have been together 10, 11 years?
00:26:06.208 --> 00:26:06.990 Is that right?
00:26:07.660 --> 00:26:09.394 Yeah, we're about to celebrate our 10 in May.
00:26:09.535 --> 00:26:10.159 Okay, yeah.
00:26:10.159 --> 00:26:33.271 So do you think that you know, if you don't fix yourself before you enter into another relationship, me, I'm going to bring Corey into that relationship and I'm going to read you know, I'm going to reenact the same stuff that I did in the previous relationship.
00:26:33.271 --> 00:26:44.509 So you think, because maybe you didn't take the time, because you were trying to fill that god awful hole, that you know that that the first one left left.
00:26:44.509 --> 00:26:52.452 You filled that maybe with the second one, and I don't know what the time frame was between the three, but my guess is it probably wasn't.
00:26:52.452 --> 00:26:58.233 It probably didn't take a lot of time to figure out who you were.
00:26:58.955 --> 00:27:26.434 And so, after that third one, between the third one, let's say in anna, is that when you did the work, the therapy, is that when you found like you, that's a great question, man, and I would love to tell you that after that third one, I dug in deep and I started doing the work and I started really growing and bettering myself.
00:27:26.494 --> 00:27:27.541 But that's not what happened.
00:27:27.541 --> 00:27:57.163 The truth of the situation is that I got a little, I think, worse off each time and because I wasn't dealing with it, I went through the first difficult one and I didn't really know how to emotionally fix myself from it, and so I kind of just put it to the side and was focusing on playing the music and writing the songs and going myself into that, and I started getting better in that way.
00:27:57.163 --> 00:28:18.605 But personally, relationship-wise and connection-wise with other human beings, I was getting worse and worse, and because it involved, you know, not just that person I was in a relationship with, but also my best friend, I started having difficulty with guy friendships as well, and I started realizing that, you know.
00:28:19.268 --> 00:28:20.471 I wasn't able to really connect.
00:28:21.000 --> 00:28:22.626 I wasn't able to connect with hardly anybody.
00:28:22.626 --> 00:28:24.866 You know I couldn't trust hardly anybody.
00:28:24.866 --> 00:28:29.269 And so that carried on into my second relationship because I didn't do any work.
00:28:29.269 --> 00:28:39.529 And so I brought all that baggage in there and then I accumulated some more bad habits, you might say, after the heartbreak of that one not going right, and then I went into my third one.
00:28:39.529 --> 00:28:48.707 So by the time I had got out of my third relationship I was complete and utter wreck because I was never trying to deal with any of it.
00:28:48.707 --> 00:28:57.642 So it just kept piling up, and piling up and piling up until eventually I was just I guess numb might be the best way to say it, but I was just numb to relationships period.
00:28:57.642 --> 00:29:00.026 I was completely disconnected.
00:29:00.026 --> 00:29:05.515 And I remember we met me and Anna met on Facebook.
00:29:05.515 --> 00:29:11.571 She friend requested me and I saw the friend request come through.
00:29:11.571 --> 00:29:14.670 So I slid into the DMs and invited her out to the show.
00:29:15.621 --> 00:29:18.971 And at this time of my life, you know, like I said, this is where I'm at.
00:29:18.971 --> 00:29:21.644 You know, I was interested in just getting.
00:29:21.644 --> 00:29:28.487 You know, just hanging out and, you know, having some drinks, seeing where the night went, nothing serious at all.
00:29:28.487 --> 00:29:30.661 Did not want to be in a relationship with anyone.
00:29:30.661 --> 00:29:33.787 I trusted no one as far as relationships go.
00:29:33.787 --> 00:29:36.372 And she was my first therapist.
00:29:37.153 --> 00:29:48.430 You might say Okay, because I remember she came to the show and she watched it and I was so excited she was there and after shows like, hey, you want to go to the bar and get a drink and hang out?
00:29:48.430 --> 00:29:53.367 And she was like no, and I was like what?
00:29:53.367 --> 00:30:01.602 And she was like, listen, I had a good time and I'm really glad you invited me out to the show, but you know that's not me.
00:30:01.602 --> 00:30:07.267 If you want to, if you really want to have a date and go on a date, take me on a real date.
00:30:07.267 --> 00:30:15.422 You know, and I have never been challenged in that way before Made you level up.
00:30:16.549 --> 00:30:31.040 Yeah, she made me level up and looking back on it, I realized I was like, given this in my relationships and that's something she helped me to realize about myself previously is that I wasn't giving what I should have been giving in my relationships.
00:30:31.040 --> 00:30:38.338 And this is one of those things that I was just steady, kind of blaming everyone and everything in my life for my problems.
00:30:38.338 --> 00:30:40.939 Every relationship that went wrong, it was their fault.
00:30:40.939 --> 00:30:43.218 Every friendship that dissolved was their fault.
00:30:43.218 --> 00:30:51.116 There was no personal accountability and something about the way she communicated with me.
00:30:51.116 --> 00:31:16.406 It just inspired me to step my game up, you know, as a man, as a human being, and so she inspired me, you know, and I'm so grateful for her, that she came into my life and something, something in her saw something in me that was better than what I was currently showing externally.
00:31:17.510 --> 00:31:19.076 And probably better than what she looked in my eyes.
00:31:19.170 --> 00:31:25.714 I don't know what it was, but something she saw a better man inside of me, and I'm so grateful for that.
00:31:25.914 --> 00:31:27.961 And better than you Did it happen overnight.
00:31:28.130 --> 00:31:29.636 No, I was still a wreck.
00:31:29.636 --> 00:31:30.111 I was.
00:31:30.111 --> 00:31:36.218 I was living every day like it was Friday night, and it's really easy to do when you're an artist, when you're a musician.
00:31:36.218 --> 00:31:47.000 Period, you know, because you know most people when they come, you know, go out to a show, that's like their fun thing they're doing for that whole week or for that month or something.
00:31:47.431 --> 00:31:49.618 For me it was every single day of my life.
00:31:49.618 --> 00:31:51.036 Was that environment.
00:31:51.036 --> 00:32:00.065 You know, I was living in a party every single day and I was allowing myself to, to be a part of the, to be a part of that in every single way.
00:32:00.065 --> 00:32:21.634 You know I was getting hammered every single night and you know that's not healthy for with, you know, my emotional problems that I was trying to navigate, while at the same time kind of being in this environment.
00:32:21.634 --> 00:32:26.284 That was like the exact opposite of what I needed, you know, at the time.
00:32:26.284 --> 00:32:41.138 And so it took me a long time and she was really patient with me and helped me to find my way back to myself again and through that I ended up coming to the place eventually where I was like you know what I need?
00:32:41.138 --> 00:32:52.516 To go talk to somebody, to a professional who really knows what they're doing to help me figure out how to untangle this knot inside of my mind, inside of my heart.
00:32:52.516 --> 00:33:00.798 Because, you know, hannah is such an amazing human being you know, she's not like a professional, you know in that way.
00:33:00.798 --> 00:33:18.952 So, but the love that she gave me and the understanding and acceptance and the encouragement to better myself helped me to get to the place where I was now strong enough to reach out and really get the real help that was going to help me fully get better.
00:33:19.173 --> 00:33:33.896 And so I went to a cognitive behavioral therapist because it had gotten so bad as far as, like, my anxiety and stress about my own inner turmoil, that I was starting to have panic attacks and anxiety attacks, and I've never had them before my whole life.
00:33:33.896 --> 00:33:37.130 You know, I was starting to have panic attacks and anxiety attacks and I've never had them before my whole life.
00:33:37.130 --> 00:33:44.900 You know, I was grew up typically, you know, pretty happy-go-lucky kid, you know, and I was like getting this like tightness in my chest.
00:33:44.900 --> 00:33:48.376 I felt like I couldn't breathe and it just kept getting worse and worse.
00:33:48.376 --> 00:33:59.769 I remember one time I was just driving down the interstate when I was living in Atlanta, and that was when I had my first really big one, really big panic attack and I thought I was having a heart attack or a stroke or something.
00:33:59.769 --> 00:34:03.037 I don't know what was happening to me, but my whole body went numb.
00:34:03.037 --> 00:34:10.998 I couldn't feel my body and my fingers started curling in on themselves and I was trying to open my hands up and I couldn't.
00:34:11.911 --> 00:34:21.572 My body was physically kind of checking out, locking up, locking up, yeah, and I couldn't drive.
