From Addiction to HVAC Success: Jason Julian's Journey of Resilience and Recovery
Send us a textWhat if the darkest moments of your life could become the foundation for your greatest transformation? Meet Jason Julian, our inspiring guest on the Successful Life Podcast, as he recounts his remarkable journey from the depths of addiction to a thriving career in the HVAC industry. Born into a family rich in building trade expertise, Jason once felt out of place, seeking solace in drugs and alcohol. Through his candid storytelling, Jason reveals the pivotal moments that steered...
What if the darkest moments of your life could become the foundation for your greatest transformation? Meet Jason Julian, our inspiring guest on the Successful Life Podcast, as he recounts his remarkable journey from the depths of addiction to a thriving career in the HVAC industry. Born into a family rich in building trade expertise, Jason once felt out of place, seeking solace in drugs and alcohol. Through his candid storytelling, Jason reveals the pivotal moments that steered him towards recovery, including a life-altering car accident and a profound spiritual awakening, culminating in over 12 years of sobriety.
Jason’s recovery story is one of perseverance and humility. He shares how hitting rock bottom became a blessing in disguise, pushing him towards a path of service and growth. Jason’s experiences in the 12-step program taught him the power of taking humble steps, from making coffee at meetings to embracing roles in his career that foster emotional maturity. Through his journey, he learned to prioritize solutions over sales, demonstrating that success in life and business hinges on genuine service to others. This episode uncovers how these lessons in humility have shaped Jason's approach to business, focusing on customer needs and satisfaction above all else.
Throughout our conversation, we explore the profound impact of community and support in overcoming addiction and finding purpose. Jason highlights the importance of taking life one step at a time, the value of authentic connections, and the empowering process of recovery. By sharing personal anecdotes and insights, Jason offers hope and guidance to those facing similar struggles or seeking a more fulfilling life. Join us for an enlightening episode that underscores the power of resilience, the joy of providing solutions, and the liberation found in choosing personal responsibility over victimhood.
00:00:01.300 --> 00:00:03.184 Welcome to the Successful Life Podcast.
00:00:03.184 --> 00:00:07.129 I'm your host, Corey Barrier, and I'm here with my friend, Jason Julian.
00:00:07.129 --> 00:00:07.671 What's up, brother?
00:00:07.671 --> 00:00:08.813 What's happening?
00:00:08.813 --> 00:00:09.875 Good to see you.
00:00:10.480 --> 00:00:11.464 Yeah, you too, man.
00:00:12.300 --> 00:00:41.573 So Jason has been a very dear friend of mine for several years now I don't know how long and has helped me through several times, helped me through issues that I've had in recovery, or even actually you coached me on when I was going to give a talk, to give my story.
00:00:41.573 --> 00:00:45.646 You really walked me through the way to do that and I'm really grateful for you.
00:00:48.460 --> 00:00:49.404 It's mutual man.
00:00:50.387 --> 00:00:51.210 I appreciate that.
00:00:51.210 --> 00:01:00.027 So, jason, for those that may or may not know, you just give us a bit better background on yourself and the business and all that good stuff.
00:01:01.070 --> 00:01:01.411 All right.
00:01:01.411 --> 00:01:09.191 So since we're talking about recovery, I did not get into HVAC until after I was already in recovery.
00:01:10.141 --> 00:01:10.283 Okay.
00:01:10.463 --> 00:01:10.986 I didn't know that.
00:01:10.986 --> 00:01:15.287 A little background on myself.
00:01:15.287 --> 00:01:16.850 I grew up in a family business.
00:01:16.850 --> 00:01:31.192 My father owned a cabinet shop and we did high-end custom cabinetry all over the United States, even outside the United States, so quality was such a big key of our lives of doing things the right way.
00:01:31.192 --> 00:01:40.813 So I grew up in a family with high expectations and my family has always been involved in the building trades of some sort.
00:01:40.813 --> 00:01:43.067 My uncle and cousin are home builders.
00:01:43.067 --> 00:01:47.444 My father was a home builder until he broke out and started doing cabinetry.
00:01:47.444 --> 00:01:50.552 I have another uncle and cousin who were plumbers.
00:01:50.552 --> 00:01:54.847 So being in the trades has always been a part of my DNA.
00:01:56.251 --> 00:02:13.730 And at a time in my life after a serious bout with drugs and alcohol in my life, after a serious bout with drugs and alcohol, I was given the opportunity to work for a guy in heating and air and I was actually disabled at the time.
00:02:13.811 --> 00:02:47.635 I'd had a really bad car accident and was disabled for many years and the year I got sober I'd been in jail a few times and the year I got sober I'd been in jail a few times and the third time that I got out of there I really started making recovery a part of my life and six months after my last time of using, I got a part, had changed my people, places and things.
00:02:47.635 --> 00:02:57.414 I did not have the same associates around me, so I was ready for something new and I was soaking it all up.
00:02:57.414 --> 00:03:01.677 By the time I got out of jail, I didn't have a job, I didn't have a phone and I didn't have a car.
00:03:01.677 --> 00:03:05.263 I didn't have a job, I didn't have a phone and I didn't have a car.
00:03:05.263 --> 00:03:13.752 And six months into being sober, I got an opportunity to work with a guy doing heating and air and he started teaching me all about it.
00:03:13.752 --> 00:03:16.336 Up until that point, go ahead.
00:03:17.681 --> 00:03:19.407 You're going to ask a question Well, so I was just going to ask.
00:03:19.407 --> 00:03:25.612 So you've been, you've been sober a little over 12 years at this point, right.
00:03:26.300 --> 00:03:31.192 Now, yeah, just celebrated 12 years, december 7th, pearl Harbor day.
00:03:31.520 --> 00:03:32.161 It's amazing.
00:03:32.161 --> 00:03:43.631 So I want you to, I want you to take us back to what led you up to that getting sober point.
00:03:43.631 --> 00:03:53.901 We all have a bottom, so to speak, and my bottom was I had three DUIs.
00:03:53.901 --> 00:03:56.104 I had 2005,.
00:03:56.104 --> 00:03:57.647 I got caught trafficking cocaine.
00:03:57.647 --> 00:04:11.592 Well, 2009, I had the blow thing in my car and I blew into it after I'd been drinking, and it immediately reports to the DMV and you have to explain yourself.
00:04:11.592 --> 00:04:17.392 And, quite frankly, jason, I'm really shocked that I walked out of there with a driver's license.
00:04:17.392 --> 00:04:21.350 The lady said if you ever come back in here again, you will never drive again.
00:04:21.350 --> 00:04:22.201 And so that was my.
00:04:22.201 --> 00:04:23.601 I had a choice to make you will never drive again, and so that was my.
00:04:23.601 --> 00:04:35.053 I had a choice to make I could either go down this shitty road that I'd been going down or I could make a change, and and so that was my bottom, if you will.
00:04:35.053 --> 00:04:37.896 So where, when was that for you?
00:04:37.896 --> 00:04:40.384 What happened?
00:04:40.404 --> 00:04:45.319 Well it's, it's chopped up, there's.
00:04:45.319 --> 00:04:45.822 It's a big, long story.
00:04:45.822 --> 00:04:50.353 I don't know if we have time for all of it, but I'll try to keep the key details there.
00:04:50.353 --> 00:04:56.653 So I started drugs at a very young age.
00:04:56.653 --> 00:05:09.023 Like I mentioned earlier, my family very high achievers, very quality-minded, a lot of expectations, and at a young age I didn't fit the mold.
00:05:09.023 --> 00:05:11.812 I didn't feel comfortable, even in my own family.
00:05:11.812 --> 00:05:13.458 I'm not into sports.
00:05:13.458 --> 00:05:15.363 All my older brothers have three older brothers.
00:05:15.363 --> 00:05:16.567 They were all into sports.
00:05:16.567 --> 00:05:17.831 They were really good at sports.
00:05:17.831 --> 00:05:19.101 I was not.
00:05:21.045 --> 00:05:25.653 I never felt really comfortable growing up as one of Jehovah's Witnesses.
00:05:25.653 --> 00:05:31.471 We were different than most of the kids we went to school with.
00:05:31.471 --> 00:05:38.841 So there was this all a feeling, probably as far back as I can remember, that I'm different, I'm not accepted, I'm not there.
00:05:38.841 --> 00:06:05.891 Because I didn't get involved in some of the things that most kids that I was growing up with did no birthday parties, no Christmas gifts and all that kind of stuff, and so, even though my parents did a good job of explaining to us why we didn't participate in those things, I always felt left out, different, not good enough, and so when I found drugs and alcohol at an early age man I was.
00:06:05.891 --> 00:06:06.773 This was great.
00:06:06.773 --> 00:06:13.713 I didn't have all these expectations on me from my dad and from associates and friends.
00:06:13.713 --> 00:06:15.086 I was free.
00:06:15.086 --> 00:06:25.115 So I felt a sense of belonging because there I was, my family's doing this and my dad expects this.
00:06:26.641 --> 00:06:29.065 When I got loaded, man I was.
00:06:29.065 --> 00:06:31.410 It was all it was.
00:06:31.410 --> 00:06:38.889 I felt comfortable in my own skin and that was a lifesaver for a long time because I was.
00:06:38.889 --> 00:06:42.526 I've always been a happy person and enjoyed where I'm at.
00:06:42.526 --> 00:06:48.747 But inside, the real Jason inside was always feeling left out, not good enough, that kind of stuff.
00:06:48.747 --> 00:06:51.437 Well, man, you give me some kind of substance.
00:06:51.437 --> 00:06:52.682 It doesn't really matter what.
00:06:52.682 --> 00:06:55.807 It is Something that changes how I'm feeling.
00:06:55.807 --> 00:06:57.732 Man, I was all over it.
00:06:57.853 --> 00:07:08.074 So I was instantly attracted to that euphoria I got when I put substances in my body, so started drugs early, early age.
00:07:08.074 --> 00:07:17.372 My dad took my brothers and I out of school early so we stopped going to public school and we started working full time.
00:07:17.372 --> 00:07:23.170 Ever since I was in kindergarten we would walk to my dad's shop after school to clean up and work.
00:07:23.170 --> 00:07:24.766 So we've always been involved in working.
00:07:24.766 --> 00:07:29.190 But the last year I was in public school was seventh grade.
00:07:29.190 --> 00:07:42.372 I got pulled out of school and started working 40 hours a week and doing a correspondence school, and so, anyway, let's get back to what you're talking about.
00:07:42.372 --> 00:07:50.552 Drugs were always mostly a part of my life and I had successfully used, without getting caught or in trouble, for many years.
00:07:51.620 --> 00:07:53.107 And what kind of drugs are we talking about?
00:07:54.079 --> 00:07:56.427 Well, I had tried.
00:07:56.427 --> 00:07:58.291 Alcohol was the first.
00:07:58.291 --> 00:08:07.413 Alcohol was readily available in my home, so sneaking a little bit of alcohol was easy and it was always available.
00:08:07.413 --> 00:08:17.627 But I think I was probably 12 years old the first time I smoked weed and I found a kid at school who I knew.
00:08:17.627 --> 00:08:27.663 He hung out with my older brother and his older brother and that's how I knew I had a brother that used drugs and so I always looked up to him and wanted to be like him.
00:08:27.663 --> 00:08:32.693 So I gravitated towards that type of environment.
00:08:32.693 --> 00:08:37.234 So I started with smoking weed and there was other things available.
00:08:37.234 --> 00:08:40.182 Like I said, my older brother and his friends did drugs.
00:08:40.182 --> 00:08:45.509 So sneak into his room and oh what's this little white powder I got introduced to.
00:08:45.528 --> 00:08:51.316 Cocaine and methamphetamine was around the little town that I was at.
00:08:51.316 --> 00:08:54.850 I stayed away from all the pills and things like that.
00:08:54.850 --> 00:09:00.153 I didn't do any kind of opiates for a long time but I tried everything else.
00:09:00.153 --> 00:09:02.567 Lsd was around.
00:09:02.567 --> 00:09:07.032 I gravitated towards the group that was having fun and doing this stuff.
00:09:07.032 --> 00:09:14.193 So I had tried almost every drug that I could, except for heroin and opiate by the time I was 15.
00:09:16.659 --> 00:09:23.207 Being in such a tight-knit family with your dad and he just didn't know.
00:09:24.428 --> 00:09:34.039 So my dad grew up in the 60s in Southern California and he and my uncle lived in Hawaii and they told stories.
00:09:34.039 --> 00:09:41.767 I had one uncle who was still a pothead and had lots of stories, so we knew about drugs.
00:09:41.767 --> 00:09:50.527 The type of music we listened to lent itself towards that lifestyle so I was always interested in it.
00:09:50.527 --> 00:10:06.400 Like I said, when I found alcohol I was probably eight or nine the first time I stole some alcohol and got really sick drunk from that and it was terrible and horrible but I wanted more that.
00:10:06.400 --> 00:10:07.729 And it was terrible and horrible but I wanted more.
00:10:07.749 --> 00:10:09.559 Early on, Like, I was always interested in that, I wanted to do better.
00:10:09.559 --> 00:10:16.360 I came from this family of high achievers so when I got into the drug world I wanted to be the best at what I was doing.
00:10:16.360 --> 00:10:19.210 So I was willing to try anything that was there.
00:10:19.210 --> 00:10:21.787 I'll take as much as I can get.
00:10:21.787 --> 00:10:24.856 I'll take as much as I can get.
00:10:25.379 --> 00:10:27.221 And that kind of fed into the ego.
00:10:27.221 --> 00:10:44.116 When I started hanging out with peers my age I was already experienced, I knew where to get it that kind of fed, this improper desire that I had inside to do more, to do better, and I always wanted to take it to another level.
00:10:44.116 --> 00:10:50.188 Because you were the man.
00:10:50.188 --> 00:10:57.644 Well, and I was the youngest of four brothers, so I was always last in line when it came to them.
00:10:57.644 --> 00:11:03.361 And so since I started my drug exploration before a lot of the people my age, I was the experienced one.
00:11:03.422 --> 00:11:08.332 I was the one that they made fun of for a lot of years because I was this weird druggie.
00:11:08.332 --> 00:11:21.592 And then when they got older and wanted to start experimenting, they came to me because they knew I knew about it and so that kind of gave me a false sense of superiority or whatever.
00:11:21.592 --> 00:11:34.590 I was the man in a couple of the circles I ran in and all that did was feed my ego, you know, and it fueled my desire to do more.
00:11:34.590 --> 00:11:46.254 And back to what we were saying is I used drugs from early on and it didn't really have a detrimental effect as far as getting in trouble with the police.
00:11:46.254 --> 00:11:52.652 My family, like my dad, worked a lot, so we were always working and out.
00:11:52.652 --> 00:11:58.092 So when he was gone I would act out and there were ways around it.
00:11:58.092 --> 00:12:00.928 I just didn't get caught.
00:12:00.928 --> 00:12:08.344 I was slick enough to find my opportunities and I used them really well.
00:12:10.370 --> 00:12:12.039 I would so.
00:12:12.039 --> 00:12:13.384 When's the first when?
00:12:13.384 --> 00:12:15.168 When did it?
00:12:15.168 --> 00:12:17.092 When was the first crash?
00:12:17.092 --> 00:12:19.586 When did it first cause you?
00:12:19.847 --> 00:12:20.450 problems.
00:12:20.450 --> 00:12:28.214 It's funny you say crash, because I was involved in a really bad car accident in 2010.
00:12:28.214 --> 00:12:47.431 By this time, I was married and had two children, and one part of the story that I didn't tell you is when I, when my wife, got pregnant with our first child, which was 2004,.
00:12:47.431 --> 00:12:53.777 Because she got pregnant, I decided I wanted to change and do something different.
00:12:53.777 --> 00:13:05.735 So I knew I had good parents and a good family, and so when I was bringing a child into this world, I had a little bit of a desire to stop using into this world.
00:13:05.735 --> 00:13:15.616 I had a little bit of a desire to stop using, and so, about six months after we found out she was pregnant, I stopped using all illegal drugs and I stopped smoking cigarettes, but I didn't stop drinking.
00:13:15.616 --> 00:13:23.024 And see, that's the part of my story that I didn't realize, because I wouldn't have thought of myself as an alcoholic.
00:13:23.024 --> 00:13:24.827 Right, I was a drug user.
00:13:24.827 --> 00:13:26.993 I liked it all, sure.
00:13:26.993 --> 00:13:58.890 So I had a mentor at the time that really spent some time with me and restarted a Bible study, and I wanted to get my life more in line with what my creator wanted, based on my study of the scriptures, and so I was able to in about six months of a progressive Bible study, use what I was learning to help me to stop using the illegal drugs.
00:13:58.890 --> 00:14:17.466 And in my mind because I'm not sticking needles in my arm anymore and I'm not taking acid on the weekends it was okay for me to drink because it was legal, and so I didn't realize the things that were going on in my body and in my mind when I take a substance in.
00:14:17.466 --> 00:14:23.642 I was feeling good about myself hey, I'm not doing these drugs, I'm going to do something good for my family.
00:14:23.642 --> 00:14:28.804 So I stopped doing that and I stopped hanging out with all the people that were doing that.
00:14:29.225 --> 00:14:36.609 But slowly, over that four years I had a four year period where I didn't do illegal drugs and I didn't smoke.
00:14:36.609 --> 00:14:43.052 Cigarettes progressively got worse and I didn't even see it or notice it.
00:14:43.052 --> 00:14:48.796 But I'm thinking to myself God's okay with me because I'm not doing the hard stuff.
00:14:48.796 --> 00:14:51.457 It's okay for me to drink a little bit more.
00:14:51.457 --> 00:15:01.384 And as I look back on it I can see how it progressed.
00:15:01.384 --> 00:15:12.433 And then, at four years of not using those, the alcohol got worse and I put myself in situations around people that were using and it just took a very little bit to start me back into the drugs.
00:15:14.900 --> 00:15:22.360 Four years clean from those and somebody hands me a couple of hydrocodone at work one day because I hurt my back.
00:15:22.360 --> 00:15:28.150 I wasn't even thinking that I was doing drugs because I wasn't taking this to get high.
00:15:28.150 --> 00:15:36.080 But someone said, hey, I've got a couple of hydros in there because I twerked my back and I was in pain and I'm like OK, cool, no problem.
00:15:36.080 --> 00:15:40.010 Like I said, I wasn't thinking that I was taking drugs because it wasn't to get high.
00:15:40.010 --> 00:15:48.144 But I felt good after that and then it became easier that when it was presented to me again I was like yeah, sure, I'll take a few more.
00:15:48.144 --> 00:15:53.053 And I had never been into pain pills or opiates at all.
00:15:54.380 --> 00:16:00.682 Started with a couple of hydros, less than a year later I was shooting up meth and Oxycontin every week.
00:16:00.682 --> 00:16:06.331 So I was four years away from the drugs.
00:16:06.331 --> 00:16:22.874 The alcohol was flowing like crazy and that was getting worse to using a couple of hydros and then in less than a 12 month period I was consistently using meth again, shooting it up and mixing it with opiates.
00:16:22.874 --> 00:16:26.847 And that just started a whole thing.
00:16:26.847 --> 00:16:30.345 Because she got pregnant with our first child, I decided to stop.
00:16:30.345 --> 00:16:49.774 We ended up having another child and soon after that is when I started the drugs again with those hydrocodones, and it took off and I was worse off then than I was when I had stopped, because I just could not stop putting stuff in.
00:16:49.774 --> 00:16:59.475 Yeah, so that was a big deal, but I had made it up into that point without having any serious legal troubles or getting caught or anything like that.
00:16:59.475 --> 00:17:06.148 It took another few years before the results started happening.
00:17:06.710 --> 00:17:09.234 The year I got sober 2012,.
00:17:09.234 --> 00:17:15.329 I had gone to jail a couple of times, but let me reverse that.
00:17:15.329 --> 00:17:17.053 2012 is when I got sober.
00:17:17.053 --> 00:17:19.201 2010 is when I had a car accident.
00:17:19.201 --> 00:17:25.493 So that was the real big first crash and big result is I was messed up.
00:17:26.340 --> 00:17:30.051 I woke up in the hospital a couple of months after we had this car wreck.
00:17:30.051 --> 00:17:32.288 I had a trach helping me breathe.
00:17:32.288 --> 00:17:36.471 I had messed up every internal organ but my heart.
00:17:36.471 --> 00:17:38.907 I broke my back in three places.
00:17:38.907 --> 00:18:01.779 I woke up in a hospital tied down because, they said before I regained consciousness, I was ripping all the cords out of me and all the stuff helping me stay alive, and I spent 18 out of 24 months in the university hospital in Arkansas 18 months, 18 months.
00:18:01.920 --> 00:18:13.297 I was unconscious for two months and I wake up and I at this time because, because my drug use had progressed, I had lost contact with my family.
00:18:13.297 --> 00:18:14.662 They didn't want anything to do with me.
00:18:14.662 --> 00:18:22.077 So my dad, brothers, mom, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews I hadn't had contact with them for a couple of years.
00:18:22.077 --> 00:18:24.730 And when I wake up in the hospital, I hadn't had contact with them for a couple of years.
00:18:24.730 --> 00:18:29.896 And when I wake up in the hospital, they're all standing around me thinking I was about to die.
00:18:29.896 --> 00:18:32.426 They didn't know what was going on.
00:18:32.426 --> 00:18:40.928 Broken back, I lost a third of my liver, a third of my colon, a kidney, my gallbladder, my pancreas was detached.
00:18:40.928 --> 00:18:42.246 I was in bad shape.
00:18:42.246 --> 00:18:46.750 So that was the first big consequence of my using.
00:18:46.750 --> 00:18:51.208 That had happened, and how did you crash the car?
00:18:51.429 --> 00:18:53.492 I know you were intoxicated, but what happened?
00:18:53.960 --> 00:18:56.144 So I didn't actually crash the car.
00:18:56.144 --> 00:18:59.471 An associate of mine was driving my car.
00:18:59.471 --> 00:19:13.211 I was passed out in the passenger seat and apparently he thought it was a good idea for us to leave the house we were at and we were headed from Little Rock, arkansas, to Oklahoma for some reason.
00:19:13.211 --> 00:19:17.832 I don't know if we were going to get drugs or a party or something, but we jumped in the car.
00:19:17.832 --> 00:19:26.295 He put me in the car and started driving and got about 40 miles down the road and flipped the car.
00:19:26.295 --> 00:19:31.550 They said the car flipped end over end for over 300 feet.
00:19:31.550 --> 00:19:38.288 The police report's pretty crazy and I had stayed in the car.
00:19:38.500 --> 00:19:43.400 He got ejected from the car and he spent about two weeks in the hospital.
00:19:43.400 --> 00:19:47.151 I spent 18 out of 24 months in the hospital.
00:19:47.151 --> 00:19:57.068 My seatbelt caused a lot of internal damage to my abdomen and, like I said, I can't really remember.
00:19:57.068 --> 00:20:04.680 Two weeks before that accident I was on a heroin binge that lasted for a couple of weeks and ended up with me in the hospital.
00:20:04.680 --> 00:20:07.201 Heroin binge that lasted for a couple of weeks and ended up with me in the hospital.
00:20:07.221 --> 00:20:13.708 So just curious, what was the bill from 18 months in the hospital?
00:20:14.449 --> 00:20:15.549 Millions of dollars.
00:20:15.549 --> 00:20:16.269 They wrote it off.
00:20:16.269 --> 00:20:18.653 They didn't think I was going to make it out of the hospital.
00:20:18.653 --> 00:20:27.881 So it was millions and millions of dollars and they wrote it off.
00:20:27.881 --> 00:20:28.823 At the time I was in the hospital.
00:20:28.823 --> 00:20:43.928 Through the physical recovery and all the stuff going on, my stepmother and father helped me to apply for disability and I was put on disability and they and I'd been working from an early age on so I'd been paying in for many years.
00:20:43.928 --> 00:21:00.505 So I had, after about a year of trying, I finally was able to get on disability and they, like I said, they wrote off a bunch of bills.
00:21:00.605 --> 00:21:02.730 I was in UAMS, which is the state hospital in Arkansas.
00:21:02.730 --> 00:21:08.320 It's a university teaching hospital and best care ever.
00:21:08.320 --> 00:21:09.384 They were great.
00:21:09.384 --> 00:21:15.140 But at that time they didn't even think I was going to stay in recovery.
00:21:15.140 --> 00:21:26.270 I remember my dad telling me years after I got sober that the nurses and doctors were telling him hey, this kid isn't going to make it, he does not want to stay sober.
00:21:26.270 --> 00:21:30.844 I had so much physical pain that they I left the hospital.
00:21:30.844 --> 00:21:32.710 On pain medicine.
00:21:32.710 --> 00:21:36.130 They gave me a prescription for fentanyl.
00:21:36.130 --> 00:21:53.613 So I'm in there for heroin and whiskey car wreck and I leave with a legal prescription now for fentanyl, which I'd already been misusing for quite some time, and so, being a drug addict, my body doesn't know if it's prescribed or not.
00:21:53.613 --> 00:21:55.425 I'm going to misuse it.
00:21:55.425 --> 00:21:59.079 So the only safe thing for me is complete abstinence.
00:21:59.079 --> 00:22:08.105 I can't handle prescription pain medicine or anything like that, because my body will take over my mind or my mind will take over my body.
00:22:08.105 --> 00:22:13.265 One or the other one is going to win, and because I'm a drug addict, I'm going to misuse it.
00:22:14.387 --> 00:22:18.157 So you know that about myself now or you were.
00:22:18.198 --> 00:22:21.824 You were still married, your wife still married, still there the kids.
00:22:21.824 --> 00:22:30.295 So she sat for 18 months with you in the hospital.
00:22:30.474 --> 00:22:31.435 Yeah, back and forth.
00:22:31.435 --> 00:22:34.349 I would come home for a week and go back in for a month.
00:22:34.349 --> 00:22:37.148 I would come home for two or three days and then go back in.
00:22:37.148 --> 00:22:46.232 So I was back and forth for that 18 months or that two years and it was a total of 18 months actually in the hospital, many surgeries.
00:22:46.232 --> 00:22:50.345 So that's not even where the story gets.
00:22:50.345 --> 00:22:53.752 Really weird is that happened in 2010.
00:22:53.752 --> 00:22:57.946 2012 is when I got sober.
00:22:57.946 --> 00:23:03.119 So they had sent me from the hospital on fentanyl and all this stuff me from the hospital on fentanyl and all this stuff.
00:23:04.141 --> 00:23:10.031 That year, 2012, I had gone to jail three times.
00:23:10.031 --> 00:23:16.592 So I was in it for drugs and being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
00:23:16.592 --> 00:23:20.684 Not every time were there drugs, but drugs were always involved and I was high every time.
00:23:20.684 --> 00:23:21.267 I went to jail.
00:23:21.267 --> 00:23:37.315 The first couple of times, she bailed me out after a few days and I just resumed my life of using and lying and cheating and stealing and all the things that go along with my lifestyle.
00:23:37.315 --> 00:23:44.292 And the third time that I went to jail, which was December 7th, was the last time I used.
00:23:44.292 --> 00:23:46.586 She left me in there.
00:23:46.586 --> 00:24:04.259 So I stayed in there for several months and it took about two weeks of being in jail that I finally was ready to ask for help, ask a higher power, ask God for help to stop what I was doing.
00:24:04.580 --> 00:24:07.089 I had been involved in recovery for those two years.
00:24:07.089 --> 00:24:14.053 So I was going to recovery meetings but I wasn't staying sober because I had a legal prescription for drugs.
00:24:14.053 --> 00:24:23.732 Because I had a legal prescription for drugs and so I could never get the substances out of my body long enough to actually rely on God's strength to help me stay sober.
00:24:23.732 --> 00:24:35.400 And so I went through all the withdrawals in jail, violent seizures and like just it was terrible.
00:24:35.400 --> 00:24:43.615 I was in bad shape for the first two weeks after going to jail because I had nothing in my system and I had to go through it.
00:24:43.615 --> 00:24:47.924 I was pretty messed up.
00:24:47.924 --> 00:24:59.636 But because I'd been going to recovery meetings for quite some time for about a year or two and a half years I was finally ready.
00:24:59.636 --> 00:25:03.140 I started using the experience, strength and hope that other people said in meetings.
00:25:03.140 --> 00:25:09.130 And the funny thing is the jail that I went to was on the backside of the jail.
00:25:09.130 --> 00:25:12.170 About a hundred feet away was the recovery house.
00:25:12.170 --> 00:25:19.343 So I was in jail wishing I was at the recovery meetings with everybody in there because I'm so close.
00:25:19.343 --> 00:25:22.608 Yet I'm in a block wall man.
00:25:22.608 --> 00:25:28.329 I'm so close to where the recovery was, I just couldn't get there and I was finally.
00:25:28.329 --> 00:25:39.089 My circumstances finally made me willing to try something new, and that something new was praying about it and then working in harmony with my prayers, like I really wanted to live at that time.
00:25:39.089 --> 00:25:49.863 So that started my journey into real recovery, because up until that point I'd never worked any steps.
00:25:49.863 --> 00:25:51.005 I didn't admit that.
00:25:51.005 --> 00:25:52.666 I was powerless over any, any of it.
00:25:55.549 --> 00:26:00.695 And six months later I got a job, part-time, with a guy doing heating and air.
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