From Struggles to Strength: Laura Kelly’s Inspiring Growth Story
What if you could transform your life's challenges into stepping stones for success? This episode of the Successful Life Podcast promises to unveil the secrets to doing just that with the help of our extraordinary guest, Laura Kelly. Laura's journey from Ireland to the United States is packed with lessons on relationships, personal growth, and maintaining a winning mindset. As she shares her powerful growth acronym, you'll gain actionable insights that are sure to resonate both personally and...
Show Notes
What if you could transform your life's challenges into stepping stones for success? This episode of the Successful Life Podcast promises to unveil the secrets to doing just that with the help of our extraordinary guest, Laura Kelly. Laura's journey from Ireland to the United States is packed with lessons on relationships, personal growth, and maintaining a winning mindset. As she shares her powerful growth acronym, you'll gain actionable insights that are sure to resonate both personally and professionally. Her recent social media post, addressing the reality of mental health struggles, serves as a poignant reminder of the courage it takes to be vulnerable and the strength found in doing so.
We delve into crucial discussions on recognizing and managing personal challenges like bipolar disorder, alcoholism, and anxiety. Laura and I explore the importance of self-awareness and how it leads to effective treatment and a more fulfilling life. You'll learn valuable strategies for improving your "say-do" ratio and prioritizing self-care, setting the stage for overcoming hardships. Hear firsthand about the excitement and trepidation of attending life-changing self-improvement events and the transformative power they hold.
From navigating the fine line between not drinking and true sobriety to embracing spirituality and prayer for inner wisdom, this episode covers it all. We wrap up with a deep dive into the concept of living in the "gain" rather than the "gap," inspired by Benjamin Hardy and Dan Sullivan's book, "The Gap and the Gain." Laura and I share personal anecdotes and practical advice that underscore the importance of gratitude and delegating tasks to the right people. Tune in for an inspiring conversation that promises to guide you toward a more successful and fulfilling life.
00:00:01.943 --> 00:00:03.726 Welcome to the Successful Life Podcast.
00:00:03.726 --> 00:00:07.373 I'm your host, Corey Barrier, and I'm here with Laura Kelly.
00:00:07.373 --> 00:00:08.355 How's it going?
00:00:09.080 --> 00:00:10.080 It's going good.
00:00:10.080 --> 00:00:10.881 It's going good.
00:00:10.881 --> 00:00:31.888 It's always refreshing to come onto a podcast where I could tell immediately, when you welcome me on, that your desire is to just cut past all the BS and just get straight through, get straight to the essence of the of.
00:00:31.888 --> 00:00:33.412 You know the guest.
00:00:33.412 --> 00:00:37.287 Yeah, and yeah, I'd love to.
00:00:37.287 --> 00:00:38.746 I'd love to hear how you want to kick this off.
00:00:38.865 --> 00:00:54.652 We were, we were just chatting about relationships, the quality of relationships, how to, how to um relationships, the quality of relationships, how to, how to um endure the good times while setting yourself up to, to, to relish in the in the in you know, the prosperous good times.
00:00:54.652 --> 00:01:24.753 But, uh, I, I plan to share kind of um, my uh, an acronym today called the growth acronym, um, that I have to share and it's essentially the, the essence of what has allowed some of the most successful people in my life, um, us and other people I know that are ethically winning in life, in various aspects of their life, um, and I'm happy to jump into that acronym.
00:01:24.753 --> 00:01:30.932 Or, if you have a plan for where you want to take this podcast, I honor that and you let me know.
00:01:31.700 --> 00:01:42.528 So most people probably know who you are, but if they don't, I'd love for you just to give a quick bio of who Laura Kelly is, and then I would love to jump into that.
00:01:42.528 --> 00:01:50.953 But I also want to shift back to what we were discussing before the show about perspective, because you have a different perspective.
00:01:50.953 --> 00:02:14.342 You've recently just done a post that I think I want to talk about because I think it's important for people to hear from people like you about that perspective, because lots of times people think they understand what a person's going through, but they really have absolutely no idea yeah, no, I'd be, I'd be honored to talk about that.
00:02:14.361 --> 00:02:16.187 Um, yeah, so.
00:02:16.187 --> 00:02:17.132 So so who I am?
00:02:17.132 --> 00:02:18.496 Uh, my name is laura kelly.
00:02:18.496 --> 00:02:20.581 Uh, came to the united states as laura mccarthy.
00:02:20.581 --> 00:02:24.408 Um, I started my journey on the East Coast with.
00:02:24.408 --> 00:02:33.806 I won various awards in college for how to, for helping individuals optimize their performance, taking a person who was well, who had the desire to be great and have them become great.
00:02:33.806 --> 00:02:36.633 But I didn't understand marketing.
00:02:36.633 --> 00:02:38.164 I had no idea how to market myself.
00:02:38.164 --> 00:02:39.328 I had no idea how to market my business.
00:02:39.328 --> 00:02:41.585 Everything was word of mouth and I figured this could dry up.
00:02:41.585 --> 00:02:46.252 So I'm going to come to the States and understand marketing mouth and I figured this could dry up.
00:02:46.252 --> 00:02:48.000 So I'm going to come to the States and understand marketing.
00:02:52.759 --> 00:02:53.644 Amid my journey, I ran into Josh Kelly.
00:02:53.644 --> 00:02:55.352 Um and uh, within a very short period of time, he said you're not going home.
00:02:55.352 --> 00:02:57.419 Like we're getting married, I love you, you're staying here.
00:02:57.419 --> 00:02:58.542 And I didn't want to.
00:02:58.542 --> 00:03:00.205 I thought he was a total nut.
00:03:00.205 --> 00:03:02.569 I loved him, but I thought that statement was nuts.
00:03:02.569 --> 00:03:06.015 Like I was like there's no way I'm I'm going home to Ireland.
00:03:06.015 --> 00:03:13.139 Like I think I'm thinking about this big traditional wedding where my family know the person I'm going to get married for years and I was more traditional.
00:03:13.139 --> 00:03:16.931 I was traditional in in how I wanted to start my family.
00:03:16.931 --> 00:03:21.604 I guess, um, but uh, when you meet the right person, you you know.
00:03:21.604 --> 00:03:38.973 I always say to people it's important to make exceptions for the exceptional and I felt like he was worth the exception and we got married within like eight months and myself and his father really hit it off fast and if anybody knows their story, they grew a home service company from six and a half million to this year they'll do 250.
00:03:38.973 --> 00:03:47.455 And there was a lot of people coming to them saying how did you grow a home service company with in one market, with no funding privately?
00:03:47.455 --> 00:03:48.842 How do you do that?
00:03:48.842 --> 00:03:49.544 How did you do that?
00:03:49.544 --> 00:03:57.472 And he was still in the day to day so he pushed myself, he pushed me into starting Clover with Josh so we could help other people.
00:03:57.472 --> 00:04:17.910 Kind of, what I was able to bring to the table is how people navigate through their quirks which stop them from being optimal, and Josh obviously had all the ins and outs of how to run a home service company and we started Clover almost five years ago now and it's been a very fulfilling journey.
00:04:18.040 --> 00:04:24.141 It's been testing in a great way and I've inherited wild perspectives, like.
00:04:24.141 --> 00:04:29.043 One perspective I've inherited is it's so easy to continually it's.
00:04:29.043 --> 00:04:32.420 I've learned this about winners they tend to always feel like they're failing.
00:04:32.420 --> 00:04:40.812 Um and uh to that perspective that that perspective drives us.
00:04:40.812 --> 00:04:54.120 Um, but if you have the awareness that many winners share that perspective, you can check yourself and be more objective about, like your reality and like, no, I'm not failing.
00:04:54.120 --> 00:04:56.387 I have a whole host of great things in my life.
00:04:56.387 --> 00:05:12.963 Um, but tapping into that perspective, while having that help, while being, while having a healthy lens around what's real and what isn't, can, um allow you to get the most from yourself, while you know not remaining, not like beating, being too hard on yourself.
00:05:12.963 --> 00:05:23.141 Um, so, uh, yeah, one of the many perspectives I pulled from from from clover, which I guess pulls us back to perspective, and I'm happy to uh to speak about what I shared the other day.
00:05:23.141 --> 00:05:38.384 Um, thank you for giving me the chance and, yeah, I wish mental health was something people felt more comfortable sharing about, because it's hard.
00:05:38.504 --> 00:05:40.603 It's even hard for me, like.
00:05:40.603 --> 00:05:43.310 I posted that one post and I felt very aligned about it.
00:05:43.310 --> 00:05:47.130 I posted another post and I'm like shit, that was a bit like heavy.
00:05:47.130 --> 00:05:49.745 Do I really need to do that?
00:05:49.745 --> 00:06:00.663 And it's for me it was important to go back to Doing what made me feel aligned.
00:06:00.663 --> 00:06:04.915 And what makes me feel aligned is, um, helping others.
00:06:05.555 --> 00:06:09.144 But what also makes me feel aligned is knowing others.
00:06:09.144 --> 00:06:32.314 What also makes me feel aligned is knowing others are seeing me securely, um, and what there's a common misconception around just because you have mental health challenges or just because you're comfortable being vulnerable, does not mean you're not tough and does not mean you're weak.
00:06:32.314 --> 00:06:48.064 And I believe that is a big reason why people don't share their mental health challenges and don't share the challenges that they encounter because they're afraid of the perception that one can hold about them.
00:06:48.064 --> 00:06:56.168 And honestly, I don't blame people for that, because some people do hold that perception, because they believe themselves that if they share it's weak.
00:06:56.168 --> 00:07:01.786 So when others share, they see them as weak, not always, but certainly at times.
00:07:03.288 --> 00:07:19.860 So what motivated me to start opening up about the fact that I struggle with anxiety and depression is I think there's a beauty in knowing the human part of a person.
00:07:19.860 --> 00:07:41.529 Like a person sees a person accomplish X, y or Z, and they many assume that this person has their shit figured out and you can still have your shit figured out and have normal struggles, whether that's depression, whether that's anxiety, whether that's divorce, whether that's your kids are teenagers and they're driving you insane.
00:07:41.529 --> 00:07:49.088 There's like struggle is a normal part of human existence, and I think it's.
00:07:49.088 --> 00:08:04.930 I believe it's something that every human shares, and if we could, if we could use that to find common ground amid the separation that exists, it would allow for much more genuine and sincere connection.
00:08:04.930 --> 00:08:23.502 So so, yeah, I feel passionate about stepping into that vulnerability, in in the way, in in in a way that makes me feel as comfortable as I possibly can feel.
00:08:23.502 --> 00:08:29.168 Yeah, I hope that helps.
00:08:29.608 --> 00:08:30.089 It does.
00:08:30.089 --> 00:08:36.197 You know, I think the reason people and you said this, it's fear.
00:08:36.197 --> 00:08:42.755 It's fear of the perception of what people are going to think or are they going to.
00:08:42.755 --> 00:08:43.240 You mentioned this.
00:08:43.240 --> 00:08:44.964 I think you mentioned this in the post.
00:08:44.964 --> 00:08:48.272 Are they going to do business with me or they're going to stop doing business with me?
00:08:48.272 --> 00:08:51.489 And really that's just our own thoughts.
00:08:51.489 --> 00:08:56.162 That really isn't necessarily the perspective that other people share.
00:08:56.162 --> 00:09:00.375 We just think that that's the perspective that they share.
00:09:00.375 --> 00:09:03.243 Really, it's really the way I look at it.
00:09:03.243 --> 00:09:08.571 It's really really none of my business If somebody has a perspective about me that's different than who I am.
00:09:08.571 --> 00:09:09.553 I don't want that.
00:09:09.553 --> 00:09:18.384 But I can't really change that because your perception of me is your reality, whatever that is, and I I don't know that I can do anything about that.
00:09:18.384 --> 00:09:29.322 I don't know that I can change that, other than just being honest and telling the truth and what what allowed you to have such a mature perspective?
00:09:31.589 --> 00:09:52.503 Well, I've been through some hard shit, you know, I I stopped drinking 15 years ago but then I started smoking weed about seven years ago and through that whole process it's like I got, you know, I joined a recovery program and I won't mention what that is, but people can figure that out on their own and I got all the things, I got all the promises back.
00:09:52.503 --> 00:10:08.222 I had been remarried and then I started smoking weed and got away from that program and what happened was I slowly bled myself of all the things that I had gained, bled myself of all the things that I had gained.
00:10:08.222 --> 00:10:11.649 And so there's a perspective of being, you know, court ordered into a rehab facility.
00:10:11.649 --> 00:10:28.462 That was like I you know it wasn't prison, but it damn sure felt like it and the perspective of watching everything slowly bleed out, or now watch, or now looking back, I should say, and seeing how all these things bled out, and right in front of my face.
00:10:28.462 --> 00:10:35.802 And I was just too egotistical to realize it was the weed that was causing.
00:10:35.802 --> 00:10:43.446 You know, really it was my spiritual connection which was disconnected, which was being caused by the weed, so on and so forth.
00:10:43.446 --> 00:10:47.840 And so I've, just I've had to pull myself out of some really hard times.
00:10:48.000 --> 00:10:55.493 And when you mentioned anxiety and depression, it's like you get trapped in this place and you just don't know what to do.
00:10:55.493 --> 00:11:02.586 You're afraid to reach out, you're afraid to ask for help and you're just stuck.
00:11:02.586 --> 00:11:10.706 And if you don't have somebody that you can talk to and lots of times it wouldn't be Josh, because you're afraid of what he might think.
00:11:10.706 --> 00:11:26.354 Even and you know, one of the things that I value the most about my current my relationship that I'm in now is that we started out, we laid everything on the table and when I say everything, we laid everything on the table.
00:11:26.354 --> 00:11:28.383 And this is what you get.
00:11:28.383 --> 00:11:30.288 And this is what you get.
00:11:30.327 --> 00:11:35.508 And my girlfriend has bipolar disorder, which scared the living daylights out of me when she first told me.
00:11:35.508 --> 00:11:48.982 I'm like holy cow, I can't get involved with this, because my perspective was skewed by the things that I've heard, but I didn't really know what that meant until one day by.
00:11:48.982 --> 00:11:52.111 We were just talking and she said, oh, yeah, this is what that means.
00:11:52.111 --> 00:11:53.802 We were friends.
00:11:53.802 --> 00:11:58.703 And she just said, yeah, this is how this affected me and I'm like Jesus, that's nothing like what I thought.
00:11:58.703 --> 00:11:59.986 I thought you're a nut job.
00:11:59.986 --> 00:12:02.701 And she wasn't a nut job.
00:12:02.701 --> 00:12:03.101 She just.
00:12:03.101 --> 00:12:07.384 There's a chemical chemical imbalance, just like me with my alcoholism or whatever the case may be.
00:12:07.384 --> 00:12:13.645 It's a chemical imbalance and if it's treated, all those things work just like normal people right.
00:12:13.645 --> 00:12:21.986 Not treated is when things don't work that way well, she is and has been in treatment for that for several years successfully.
00:12:22.668 --> 00:12:29.903 So there's something that you've alluded to there that is, I think, anyone enhancing.
00:12:29.903 --> 00:12:31.528 Oh, my microphone changed.
00:12:31.528 --> 00:12:32.109 Can you still hear me?
00:12:32.470 --> 00:12:58.799 yeah, you sound good um, the key to anyone enhancing is that awareness, like there's not any one of us that don't have some sort of a freaking challenge, whether that's alcoholism, whether that's bipolar, whether that's depression, whether that's anxiety, whether that's a crazy ex-husband, a crazy ex-wife, whatever it is Um, or it's it's um, it's having awareness around what the thing is.
00:12:58.799 --> 00:13:01.783 So, so, so, so that you can do something about it.
00:13:01.783 --> 00:13:05.648 For instance, to your point you mentioned about your, your, your partner.
00:13:05.648 --> 00:13:24.966 She has bipolar yes, she has the capacity and to feel and be normal um, and at one point, through most probable hardship, she was forced to inherit, inherent, inherit awareness to do something about it to you.
00:13:24.966 --> 00:13:30.427 You know, you had to lose some good things in your life to realize that you had to change um.
00:13:30.427 --> 00:13:41.991 I believe that you don't have to lose everything good to inherit that inherit, inherit that awareness, um.
00:13:41.991 --> 00:13:50.869 But I believe and I like challenge everybody that there's an awareness aspect of you that you either lack or you know that.
00:13:50.908 --> 00:14:00.150 If you don't channel your excuse, my language, f thought um, I, I say that with uh, I.
00:14:00.150 --> 00:14:17.451 I say that because I, I believe we all, we all have our challenges and if we don't tap into the awareness of those challenges and put things in place to mitigate against the hardship that they will inevitably cause us.
00:14:17.451 --> 00:14:42.663 You are literally saying, yeah, give me more struggle, give me a lot more struggle and unnecessary hardship, and it's sometimes really difficult to overcome the conversation in your head where it's like I can have one more drink, or I don't really need a workout, or I'm gonna do this thing that I know was not that really that good for me, but I'll get away with it this time.
00:14:42.663 --> 00:14:53.534 It's so easy to fall into that trap, and something I've been working on is improving my say-do ratio.
00:14:53.534 --> 00:15:14.344 So the things that I say I'm going to do, I do, and it's amazing how that changes your subconscious around how much you value yourself, um, and you're proving to yourself that you genuinely are prioritizing yourself and you know it's it's.
00:15:14.344 --> 00:15:22.690 Once you start to prioritize yourself and do the things that you know are good for you, everything in your life starts to become better.
00:15:22.690 --> 00:15:36.379 Everything in your life starts to become better, and I always caution people around following exactly what this expert told you worked for them.
00:15:36.379 --> 00:15:52.845 Instead, tap into awareness and find out what works best for you and trust that, because if you don't trust, if you can't trust yourself, it's, it's, it's, it's a very disempowering place to live, um, because you're consistently looking to external factors to gain validation.
00:15:52.845 --> 00:16:03.461 Um, so, uh, um and yeah, when you lean into, it's really hard to start trusting yourself because that inner voice is just gone.
00:16:05.705 --> 00:16:11.245 You know, I've had, over the course of my anxiety and depression, struggles.
00:16:11.245 --> 00:16:22.638 I found it easy to feel this anxious, tension, headache and want a drink.
00:16:22.638 --> 00:16:31.686 And then I and then I have to in that moment, realize that if I have that drink, I'm going to be, and for me I was able to just have one drink.
00:16:31.686 --> 00:16:34.474 I know not everyone's that way, but I was able to just have that one drink.
00:16:34.474 --> 00:16:37.407 But need to have a drink to get rid of my anxiety.
00:16:37.407 --> 00:16:40.150 Headache is kind of unhealthy, and then I would.
00:16:40.150 --> 00:16:48.308 Then I had to look, then I would, then I would find myself that evening with my kids tired because alcohol doesn't help our energy.
00:16:49.070 --> 00:16:56.124 Um and uh, I just thought I was like I don't.
00:16:56.124 --> 00:16:57.066 I just don't want to be self.
00:16:57.066 --> 00:16:57.546 I don't want to be.
00:16:57.546 --> 00:16:58.086 I don't want to be selfish.
00:16:58.086 --> 00:16:58.888 I don't want to be selfish.
00:16:58.888 --> 00:16:59.870 I don't want to be selfish.
00:16:59.870 --> 00:17:01.371 I don't want to be remembered as selfish.
00:17:01.371 --> 00:17:25.248 I don't want to be remembered as a person who had no energy for their kids in the evening, go to the places we don't want to go.
00:17:25.248 --> 00:17:25.648 Um, and that's tough.
00:17:25.648 --> 00:17:27.335 Like I don't know why I have this, but I have this hunger to get over my shit.
00:17:27.335 --> 00:17:31.131 Like we're going to Tony Robbins for six days in December and I'm jazzed like I can't fucking wait.
00:17:31.131 --> 00:17:42.038 And Josh is like six days, oh my gosh, like six days, and he's, he's coming with, he want, he booked, like he did this for me, he wants to come, he wants to do it, but he's dreading it.
00:17:42.038 --> 00:17:49.929 I'm jazzed about it Cause I know when I get I get over my shit, how better I can be for me and everybody else Is it David Destiny.
00:17:50.611 --> 00:17:52.036 Yeah, david Destiny.
00:17:52.384 --> 00:17:55.814 I haven't been to it, but, dude, it's got to.
00:17:55.814 --> 00:17:56.836 It's going to be amazing.
00:18:04.425 --> 00:18:05.911 I, it's going to be amazing, I can't wait, I can't, I can't wait, I, I, uh, I.
00:18:05.911 --> 00:18:10.606 I remember I did one, uh, one of his, one of his um seminars, awake in the diamond, and it was virtual and I really focused on my anxiety and overcoming it.
00:18:10.606 --> 00:18:24.746 Um, and now I'm at a place the more educated I become that like trying to trying to um, trying to ignore a feeling or an emotion, in fact exasperates that feeling.
00:18:24.746 --> 00:18:25.990 Uh.
00:18:25.990 --> 00:18:37.548 So instead of telling them, instead of saying oh, I'm not, I'm not anxious, I'm not anxious, I'm not anxious, I'm not anxious, what that does is, in fact, exasperates the anxiousness, or I'm not sad, I'm not depressed, I don't want I, whatever it is, um, in fact exasperates that emotion.
00:18:37.548 --> 00:18:39.451 So I'm very I, whatever it is, in fact exasperates that emotion.
00:18:39.751 --> 00:18:46.941 So I'm very curious how my journey will look this time, where I'm not going to say I'm not anxious.
00:18:46.941 --> 00:19:01.344 In fact, I'm going to explore what being the most optimal version of myself, alongside anxiety and depression, what that journey can look like for me.
00:19:01.344 --> 00:19:21.459 Maybe it's something that I can just speak to with memory you know what I mean like I can advise people from a place of yeah, I know what that feels like, but maybe it will always be part of who I am, um, and I just handle it better because I, because I number one, I have the perspective and, as best I can, I choose to do the things that I know.
00:19:21.459 --> 00:19:25.049 If I don't do, everything around me is not as good.
00:19:27.413 --> 00:19:29.857 So interesting there, lauren.
00:19:29.857 --> 00:19:36.218 You said you know you basically say keeping your promises to yourself and what I think for me that does.
00:19:36.218 --> 00:19:43.910 If I go say, if I set out to let's use the ice bath as an example yeah, I say I'm going to get in the ice bath in the morning.
00:19:43.910 --> 00:20:04.979 If I don't do that, I'm starting myself out with a lie that day and my confidence is going to be less than it would be if I just do the thing that I said I would do and as a good example of doing something extremely hard in the morning, because there's nothing fun about getting in 35 degree water Wow.
00:20:07.945 --> 00:20:17.353 But after you get out, you've overcome something that most folks won't even attempt to do, and there's a level of confidence that comes with that.
00:20:17.353 --> 00:20:23.086 I believe that sets my whole day up for success, Because there's nothing going to be that hard.
00:20:23.527 --> 00:20:25.290 I have a question for you.
00:20:25.290 --> 00:20:30.788 I used to get motivated by doing things that I know other people won't do, absolutely.
00:20:30.788 --> 00:20:35.688 But it doesn't motivate me anymore and I kind of hate that Because it helps me.
00:20:35.688 --> 00:20:39.815 So I do ice baths, but I don't do it at 35 um.
00:20:39.815 --> 00:20:42.579 I think that's amazing, the um.
00:20:42.579 --> 00:20:49.978 And there used to be a place amid my growth, amid my journey, where I'd be like I.
00:20:49.978 --> 00:20:55.328 I got a thrill out of doing things that I knew other people weren't willing to do, like an ice bath.
00:20:55.328 --> 00:20:57.771 But I don't know why I don't have that thrill anymore.
00:20:57.771 --> 00:21:02.957 I don't know.
00:21:02.957 --> 00:21:03.938 I, I, I, I.
00:21:05.058 --> 00:21:05.159 I.
00:21:05.839 --> 00:21:06.119 I'm more.
00:21:06.119 --> 00:21:08.241 I'm more now, like I'm more.
00:21:08.241 --> 00:21:18.397 I guess I'm more focused on self, in a way that I'm like is this going to?
00:21:18.397 --> 00:21:21.270 Is this going to better me today?
00:21:21.270 --> 00:21:30.797 Um, and I, perhaps I've learned that lesson, with just reflection here.
00:21:30.836 --> 00:21:44.833 Perhaps I've learned that lesson because I it's so easy to to to try and do all the things that cause you to be optimal, when you need to just figure out the one or two things that, if you do, makes everything else better.
00:21:44.833 --> 00:21:45.895 It's like the Pareto principle.
00:21:45.895 --> 00:21:50.836 You know what are the one or two things that if I do this morning will make my whole day better.
00:21:50.836 --> 00:21:52.588 And there's no world.
00:21:52.588 --> 00:21:53.554 Well, there is a world.
00:21:53.574 --> 00:21:58.569 I don't think it's smart to do all the things like some people swear by gratitude journaling, some people swear by ice baths.
00:21:58.569 --> 00:21:59.612 Some people swear by exercising.
00:21:59.612 --> 00:22:04.247 Some people swear by affirmation, some people swear by I don't know all sorts of meditation.
00:22:04.247 --> 00:22:05.589 I don't think there's.
00:22:05.589 --> 00:22:07.796 I don't think it's optimal to do everything.
00:22:07.796 --> 00:22:36.096 Um, but experimenting with the 20, the 20 percent that contribute to you having a successful day and an optimal day, and do it and just because you love yourself enough, doing those things and just committing to those things and promising yourself you're going to show up for yourself in those two minor ways and the rest of the day will just flow some more.
00:22:36.805 --> 00:22:38.289 But it kind of goes back to perspective.
00:22:38.289 --> 00:22:42.469 You know, if somebody's the folks that are listening to this, they've never done an ice bath.
00:22:42.469 --> 00:22:48.089 I think those two people are crazy for getting in a freezing cold ice bath.
00:22:48.089 --> 00:22:50.997 Our perspective is it's just part of the daily routine.
00:22:52.026 --> 00:23:02.526 Yeah, yeah, right, and that's I guess that's something that I always try to, I try to always monitor is like I do all this stuff that many would maybe consider crazy.
00:23:02.526 --> 00:23:16.608 How do I encourage another to be open to doing some of this crazy stuff when to them it's just freaking nuts, like it's, it's bizarre, it's not something they ever they'd ever want to, you know, endure?
00:23:16.608 --> 00:23:32.037 How do you tap into, how into, how do you, how do you um, remain remain relatable so that, so that others want to try and do the things that make them better?
00:23:32.037 --> 00:23:45.534 Um, I believe it's just showing up consistently and how your life, how you, your life, ends up to shape out, to be a bit better, and people gain inspiration from the journey.
00:23:45.534 --> 00:23:50.833 I think that's the most sustained way of having influence.
00:23:50.833 --> 00:23:52.557 But what are your thoughts?
00:23:53.184 --> 00:23:55.974 Well, sharing the struggle is really like you know.
00:23:55.974 --> 00:24:11.095 So you and I can sit here and talk about doing the ice bath and breeze over it, but if we really explain the mentality it took to get in that ice bath the first time, how many times you walked up to it and said I just I don't want to do it?
00:24:11.095 --> 00:24:16.455 Or you paced back and forth, or for me, I would just find something else I needed to do and prolong it.
00:24:16.455 --> 00:24:25.008 And if we talk, I think if we talk about the process it took us to get there, is where people can identify.
00:24:25.008 --> 00:24:29.936 They can identify with looking at an ice bath is right, freezing.
00:24:29.936 --> 00:24:30.818 I can't.
00:24:30.818 --> 00:24:33.030 I can't get in the ice bath.
00:24:33.030 --> 00:24:35.438 I said the same thing until I did it.
00:24:35.438 --> 00:24:38.144 Yeah, like walking on fire at tony rock.
00:24:38.144 --> 00:24:39.086 I said the same thing.
00:24:39.405 --> 00:24:42.748 I've done twice and there's something about that.
00:24:42.748 --> 00:24:46.070 That happens where you're like what just happened?
00:24:46.070 --> 00:24:48.211 How did I just get through that?
00:24:48.211 --> 00:24:49.633 Like I'm the same person.
00:24:49.633 --> 00:24:52.134 It's like I was listening to a book last night.
00:24:52.134 --> 00:24:53.675 It said don't believe everything.
00:24:53.675 --> 00:24:54.896 You think what money means to them.
00:24:54.896 --> 00:25:05.955 You're going to get a hundred different perspectives and the money doesn't change.
00:25:05.955 --> 00:25:08.465 It's still a dollar bill or whatever bill.
00:25:08.465 --> 00:25:11.511 The actual thing doesn't change.
00:25:11.511 --> 00:25:16.868 It's just the perspective of well, money's bad or money's good, or greed or whatever it is.
00:25:16.868 --> 00:25:26.050 And if we can sit back and think, well, who is it we're trying to encourage to do this and talk about it from their perspective?
00:25:26.050 --> 00:25:37.471 We've been right where you are and this is how I felt during that time this is what I did, to move to the next step, which is sometimes that's very interesting.
00:25:37.570 --> 00:25:38.554 That's very interesting.
00:25:38.554 --> 00:25:50.596 Um, I think that there's uh, there's a lot of power in that because, yeah, like to go back to you know my posts I was like do I want it, do I?
00:25:50.596 --> 00:25:51.077 I?
00:25:51.077 --> 00:26:07.821 I do believe that if I continue to be vulnerable, it's going to help people out, but am I willing to be that vulnerable and that's something that's I want to say yes, what do you have to say?
00:26:11.506 --> 00:26:20.192 You know, as much work as I've done on myself, I still hold on to the fear of judgment, I believe, yeah, and the fear of being misperceived.
00:26:24.684 --> 00:26:34.807 Of judgment, I believe, yeah, um, and the fear of being misperceived, uh, and I, and and meaning, I know I have anxiety and depression, but I also know I'm tough, capable and I'm going to achieve some great shit, because I won't.
00:26:34.807 --> 00:27:03.923 You know that's, that's just part of who I am and who I want to be and what I want to model to my daughter, and it's so, I think, to your question, what I'm afraid to lose I'm afraid to lose, yeah, I'm afraid that I will alter the narrative that people hold about me, which you mentioned something at the very start of this podcast.
00:27:03.923 --> 00:27:08.855 You tend to not really care about what people think about you and I and this journey.
00:27:08.855 --> 00:27:21.420 Amid all the things I have grown in and worked on, I still clearly put weight in other people's opinion of me, um, and I think there's um, there's great, there's uh.
00:27:21.420 --> 00:27:23.707 I think that's the next part of my journey.
00:27:23.707 --> 00:27:34.796 The next part of my growth journey is removing, removing the concern I have around other people's opinions yeah, I wouldn't say that I don't care what other people think.
00:27:34.976 --> 00:27:48.561 I just I have to look at it objectively that whatever someone else thinks is, you know, it's their opinion.
00:27:48.561 --> 00:27:50.285 It's like an asshole Everybody's got one.
00:27:50.285 --> 00:27:52.832 Yeah and likely.
00:27:52.832 --> 00:27:55.696 I don't know if I could change that or not, but there are.
00:27:55.696 --> 00:27:59.964 You know, I don't want to seem like a martyr, because I do care what people think.
00:27:59.964 --> 00:28:03.319 I just care less than I used to care.
00:28:07.431 --> 00:28:16.325 It eats up a ton of energy, worrying about how people are going to perceive the things that I say or do, or whatever that may be.
00:28:16.325 --> 00:28:17.894 I'll give you a great example.
00:28:17.894 --> 00:28:21.941 My sponsor reached out to me not long ago.
00:28:21.941 --> 00:28:26.950 I'm in the process of writing a book which is on hold and it's called Alcohol is the Solution.
00:28:26.950 --> 00:28:33.563 And he said in one of your things you said you know you haven't had a drink in 15 years.
00:28:33.563 --> 00:28:34.263 I said you're right.
00:28:34.263 --> 00:28:36.496 I said what's wrong with that?
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