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Mar 4, 2021

Keyen Lage; leadership coach

Today’s Episode Summary:

My guest, Keyen, is a leadership coach but before starting his coaching business he was an athlete and a national football player. Due to an accident, he sustained some serious injuries and lost his ability to play football forever. After this catastrophic incident, he transitioned to his second life and started a new journey with a new purpose.

Keyen says that his limitation gave him fulfillment because a lot of people are chasing their dreams and trying to accomplish their dreams, but they are forever operating in the position of finding identity in the pursuit of their dreams. Throughout their life, they keep finding their identity and their happiness becomes dependent on their identity, achievements, and success. They don’t feel independent and it becomes very difficult for them to live a contented life.

We, human beings, attach so many identities to ourselves that are actually limiting our potential and growth and it becomes very difficult for us to separate them from us. We attach ourselves too much to the earthly titles that if these titles are snatched away from us we become sad. We think we are nothing without these titles and identities. Keyen promotes the idea of ‘being ok with being in a place without titles’. He says that your identity and happiness shouldn’t be wrapped up by your success.

There is nothing wrong with achieving success but we take the extra pressure of success by considering it as our only point of survival. This idealization of success not only creates stresses in our lives but it also affects our process of success. We, human beings, are very hard on ourselves. We pressurize ourselves to achieve more and more and there is no finish line. We motivate ourselves with the belief of ‘Do or Die’ that shows how addicted we are to succeed.

Addiction has different faces. In-fact, there are 2 categories of addiction. One category involves addiction of drugs, porn, alcohol, sex, etc. While other category includes addiction of achievements, addiction of success, addiction of helping others, addiction of religion, etc. The second category is more dangerous than the first category because the rate of people in this category is more than the other one. But we don’t feel these are also addictive behaviors because society glorifies them. Society does not see that the other side of this submission or idealization is a lot of sadness.

To live a contented, happy, and successful life we need to detach our happiness from these identities and change the programming that society has inculcated in our brains. We need to live our life without being so concerned about the definitions of success created by society and we need to live our life on our own terms and that is what’s called real living. 

What You Will Learn from this Episode:

  1. Lessons from Keyen’s life story.
  2. How Keyen’s disability helped him in personal development?
  3. What are the identities Keyen was attached to and how he detached himself from them?
  4. What’s wrong with chasing dreams and running after success?
  5. What's wrong with the idealization of success and achievements?
  6. Importance of 'being okay without having fancy titles’.
  7. Why people use success to justify their okayness?
  8. How ‘helping others’ is an addiction?
  9. Why an alcoholic shouldn’t join Alcoholics Anonymous (AA)?
  10. How Psychedelic Treatment helps you to detach yourself from wrong beliefs inculcated by society?
  11. Why people do things that they do?
  12. Who are people pleasers and why they don’t say ‘No’?
  13. How Self-Pleasers & People-Pleasers, both are selfish people?
  14. What a woman wants from a man -in a relationship- and vice versa?
  15. Why you should be selfish for having time with yourself?
  16. What is the importance of respecting your time?
  17. Why you shouldn’t let others interfere if you are doing something for mutual benefit?

The Episode Timeline:

[00:00]– Introduction.

[00:35]- How Keyen felt when the doctors told him that he won’t be able to play football again?

[05:34]- How Keyen looks at his physical limitation?

[07:55]- How Keyen found his new identity and purpose after the mishap happened?

[11:19]- Conversation about Psychedelic Treatment and how it helps to abandon wrong beliefs?

[17:10]- Why Corey thinks that an alcoholic shouldn’t join Alcoholics Anonymous (AA)?

[18:10]- Illusion of titles and identities and how they are limiting our potential?

[23:09]- What Keyen does now?

[24:47]- Idealization of success and achievements are an addiction.

[29:42]- Why people do things that they do?

[31:08]- Who are people pleasers and why they don’t say ‘No’?

[34:00]- Helping people with the expectation to get back.

[37:36]- Self-Pleasers & People-Pleasers, both are selfish people.

[39:24]- 'Helping others' is over-glorified by society.

[42:43]- Why you should be selfish for having ‘ME Time’.

[45:32]- Respect your time & make others respect your time too.

[47:02]- Do what is best for you and other people and don't allow others to distract you from making the right decision.

[51:11]- What a woman wants from a man in a relationship?

[54:41]- Discover yourself to truly respect yourself.

[55:55]- Contact details of Keyen.

Golden Nuggets from Episode:

  • “You are more than your identity. You don’t need an identity to feel ok about yourself.” –Keyen
  • “Success is an addiction but we don’t feel that’s an addictive behavior because society glorifies that. But people don’t see that the other side of this submission or idealization is a lot of sadness.” –Keyen
  • “There are certain things in life that you do have to be selfish about if you want to protect your shit.” –Corey Berrier
  • “People use achievement and success as a way to justify their okayness” –Keyen

Keyen’s Website & Social Media Handles:


Instagram:  @keyen.lage

My Website & Social Media Handles:


Facebook:  @Corey Berrier

Instagram:  @coreyberrier


Twitter: @ successfullifepodcast

Linkedin:  Corey Berrier- Successful Life Podcast

YouTube: Successful Life Podcast